Episode 6 - Attack Of The Pinkertons :: Vultures.... A Sitcom About Dicks.... Private Dicks.

With V.P.I. shut down by the authorities pending investigation, the gentlemen detectives are unemployed. And so Niall Tennyson must sign onto the dole for the first time. All he needs is a little help from those dole scrounging dicks Vultour and McGrain.

There's another new detective agency in town. Janine Drew isn't waiting around to work for V.P.I. or the Pinkertons. She's set up her own agency and she's named it after herself. That's right, The Janine Drew Agency. And she ain't taking shit from no one. Business just picked up. www.JanineDrewAgency.com

Unemployed and underground (well, in Tennyson’s house), Vultour and McGrain are intent on eluding the clutches of their old friend Natalie Blaise. Tennyson however is looking for a peaceable resolution, no doubt with a strong mug of scald and a chat involved. However, Natalie Blaise doesn’t seem to be open to dialogue. The Pinkertons are making their presence felt. And people are getting hurt. Can V.P.I. regroup and fight back? Will Natalie Blaise emerge from the shadows to explain herself in a long winded villainous fashion? Or is she merely just misunderstood? And what will Tennyson do to fill in the unemployed hours?

Hamish Lane (Ken McGuire)

This scroungy, scuzzy and scabby Scotsman is the latest advance in street informant technology. Hailing from the mean streets of Glasgow, Hamish Lane uses his wheelchair bound state to lull people into a false sense of security and when they spill valuable info, the seemingly down and out Scotsman hoovers it all up and spits it back out for a price. This is one of many advantages he has over the far more suspicious looking Jack Street. Which made it all the easier for Hamish to push his arch enemy off his turf.

Hamish used to sit outside the local shopping centre with his little Chihuahua, singing old Scottish folk songs (‘Two Little Boys’ being his favourite) and getting change off people. But little did passers by know that this scuzzy punk is actually one of the biggest crime bosses in town, trading information, sabotaging the Russians and selling illegal fireworks (and oftentimes heroin). Hamish Lane is taking over every patch of turf in town, and the only thing that’s going to stop him is his wheelchair getting clamped

Facts:

-As of yet, has not got his wheelchair clamped.
-Enmity with Jack Street started when they used to share a squat and Jack Street never replaced a can of Bachelor’s Beans which he ‘borrowed’ from Hamish.
-In retaliation, Hamish had his ‘crew’ kidnap Jack Street’s cat and cut her leg off. Hamish mailed the cat’s leg to Jack in a Scots Clan tin.
-Hamish Lane has been known to drink Irn Bru and eat Maynard’s wine gums. However, he does think haggis is ‘fuckin’ rank sheep shite’.
-Before Hamish became wheelchair bound, he used to sleep in a trolley. However, most trolleys are not wheelchair accessible nowadays.

Quote:

“Alright soldier, got any change?”